10 Vancouverites And Their Best Relationship Advice

We’ve all received relationship advice from friends and family at some point in our life. As a relationship counselor, I’ve learned that the best advice isn’t always one that comes out of a book but rather from those around me. During my twenties, I spent most of my time defying advice that people gave me about finding good relationships. I believed that somehow I was going to find a new way on my own. However, in my thirties (and after a whole lot of learning), I realized that what most people told me about finding great relationship were true.

In the spirit of learning from others, I asked 10 Vancouverites to share their best relationship advice and here’s what they said:


First of all, I’m no expert. I believe you have to win the love lottery. Like having a successful career, so much about love is being in the right place at the right time. Knowing what you need, and having the right attitude can help. Find someone who understands and accepts you. Of course, that requires you do the same for them. I’ve found people who are happy in their relationships, their jobs, or life in general, accept what they have and are easily able to convince themselves they love it. That’s not the same as settling.
On long-term relationships: These are some of the common threads I see in successful long term relationships: The ability to communicated your needs but not be too needy;  be each other’s #1; laugh at yourself; and get physical.  It also helps if you find someone who is more like you than not. Opposites may attract but they don’t stick. Like a good career, a good relationship goes through ups and downs and requires commitment, investment and patience. You shouldn’t have to work too hard, and with any luck, you get a good severance package if it doesn’t work out.

On overcoming breakup: He’s an idiot who’d never have made you truly happy anyway! I’m only partly kidding. If he/she doesn’t recognize how fabulous you are, you don’t want him. If your behavior is the cause of the break-up, address it or you will repeat the pattern. I’m also a big believer in talking it out with friends. A glass of wine (or coffee) and a good friend is more fun than therapy…and so much cheaper. –Coleen Christie (News Correspondent for CTV)



I can’t even begin to pretend that I’m an expert on relationships. I’ve had such a short track record with dating because, to be honest, I’ve just never made it a priority. I’ve always focused on my career and my family first. But when discussing my lack of a love life with a friend, she mentioned the old saying about women having the relationships they think they deserve — and it pretty much stopped me in my tracks. I realized I had no right to complain about being single if I wasn’t putting myself out there, at least a little bit. So, that’s probably the best advice I’ve ever received, and would pass on to other. That, and don’t settle for Mr. Wrong. –Aleesha Harris (Vancouver Sun)





a) Don’t hold them back from blossoming into who they are and want to become. The tighter you hold on, the faster they leave.

b) Don’t let the comfort in your relationship allow you to lose respect for each other. Those hurtful words can scar the heart and us girls never forget and vice versa. Christie Lohr (Founder of Style Nine To Five)



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