Secret single behavior or SSB (def): an action or habit one indulges in when they are alone.

We all have secret single behavior or as Carrie from Sex and the City says “things you love to do when no one is around.” For her it’s eating saltines while reading a fashion magazine standing up. It might sound strange but having some routines of your own when you’re single is very real. However, when you’re in a relationship, it can be hard to bring these sometimes strange habits into your relationship with your partner around. Whether we like it or not, we change when we’re in relationships. You take on some traits of your partner (even if you don’t immediately see it you have!) and vice versa. It’s part of what researchers call integrating your sense of self with another. It’s the recipe for closeness or emotional intimacy.

I still try to do my secret single behavior which is why having some time to yourself is so important. Don’t feel guilty about having some “me” time. We all need it (even your partner).


Here are some of my secret not so secret single behaviors:

1) Have a no pants party: It’s a party of one but I love to cook and read in just a baggy shirt.

2) Sing out load to some great hits by Beyonce: She is the queen B.

3) Watch romance movies and cry if I want to: I usually try not to cry watching romance movies with people. It makes others feel bad that you’re “upset” or they simply think you’re cheesy. With no one around, I can cry it out as much as I want.

4) Indulge in gossip magazines for hours: I’m a sucker for celebrity gossip. It’s a healthy obsession I promise.

5) Watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians: You just can’t watch this with a guy.

6) Try on all my skinny jeans/pants/dress: If it doesn’t fit, you’re the only who will know.

What are some of your SSB(s)? -A.